AN ENLIGHTENING THOUGHT

A must read post........here..


now mine:)




Live a life that mean,..rather meaningful
Ready or not it will come to an end

There will be no more sunrises,no more,
minutes, no hours and no days,

All the things you collected and treasured will pass on to some one Else.

Your grudges,resentment,frustration, jealousies
will finally disappear,
and so too your hope, ambitions and plans,

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to unimportance,

The wins and loses that once seemed so important will fade away
It wont matter on what side of the track you were born,
It wont matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant,
Even your gender and colour of the skin will be irrelevant...

So What will matter?

How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you gave.
what will matter is not your success but significance.
what will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of great compassion or sacrifice you did for others,
how enriched, empowered and encouraged,
What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew but how many will feel the loss of your presence.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.and how long you will be remembered and by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesnt happen by accident,
Its not a matter of circumstances but of choice.

I got this in my mail and loved it so much that i am sharing it with you all

Pedigree

I keep reading lots of stuff and most of my posts come as a reaction to them and this post is also no exception:)...I read some statements by girls.....

Its a choice whether we stay with inlaws or not..nothing wrong or right with that.

Its okay if you aren't able to love your in-laws..Not wanting to live with in-laws is no big crime.

and some other statements also..like husbands should love their wife unconditionally..(meaning even if the wives dont care or respect his parents....

there were many more like this..and it set the ball thinking in my mind...In an arranged marriage and even in love marriage..a prospective groom is selected as much for his own qualities,
as for the upbringing done by his parents,
for the family he belongs to,
for the name he carries,
and if the family is good and affectionate..he carries more wt in the marriage market..he is known for his parents..all his credibility is because of his parents..and if it wasnt so,
girls parents should marry their daughters to anyone,

No, they want a boy of good pedigree:)
otherwise why so much of hulla for love marriages, intercaste marriages..caste is what?..it comes because of parents only...if only the boy was important, they could have gone for any caste, religion etc..but they want a particular caste, particular style of living...all imparted by his parents.
Ask any girl and her parents if they are shown two boys..
both are same education wise
looks wise,
but one comes from a good family(here I am using a generalised word..good for everything better)..whom will they choose?

It is very obvious...

before marriage everyone wants a good guy from a cultured family and after marriage, they want the family to dissappear..how convenient and selfish?

Living and looking after the parents is never a CHOICE but RESPONSIBILITY, and shirking from responsibilities never makes you a good human beings, then why talk about being kind to animals,poor and unprivileged people...does that social conscience also come to you at convenient times...

Living with inlaws may not be easy...who would know it better than me who was married in 70's, when MILs ruled...but I couldnt deny my responsibilities, just the way we face other problems in life with strength, so is this one..I remember once I said in the heat of a moment that I am really fed up of all this, I have done a lot for 20 years and have had it, it is enough for me, my son said..mom parents are lifelong responsibility, you can never ever done enough for them, nor you can say that..and those words were engraved in my mind...even today after another 15 years my MIl still lives with me and happier here than anywhere else, whereas now I have a dil and since today DILs rule..I face another mountain again:)..but thats life..its not about I,Me. Myself...one has to play all the roles of life and our success lies in making them better. Since we are human, we get exasperated, hurt,impatient but then we do what is required of us....as a good human being , as a good relation.
we cant even imagin that we can get a loving caring husband,with us all the time disrespecting his family..because that is not humanely possible.

IPL Drama

Few Terracota Pieces
Khurja Pottery

I felt really sad when i saw on TV that..on one side Pakistan is making sea port on our west side to keep his warships there along with China and digging bunkers on another side to store his nukes and our govt is worried about all these developments, whereas on the other side media and film stars are giving undue importance to Pak cricketers not being selected by IPL..I dont know why..

Why we are trying to justify whom we want to play here?

Why are we more worried about their feelings than the safety of our country?

After 26/11 do we need something more to wake up and realise what our neighbours are?

and why Pakistan is making such hue and cry about our internal decision? When this is a simple business decision, Instead of introspecting and realising that this terrorism is hurting their economy, they are making unnecessary noises as usual, but what is disheartening is when people started accusing govt, raising fingers...Instead of thinking that as it is we have a very mild govt, and if it does something strict then think about it,..what is so serious there that they were compelled..When it doesnt take action we cry and when it takes, we cry louder...what is it with us?..we have this pseudo secularism where we see everything from the points of caste and religion, whereas enemy is enemy whatever his religion or cast.



Somebody sent me this link about the trafficking of girl child..its ghastly and horrible what is happening here...

http://www.ted.com/talks/sunitha_krishnan_tedindia.html

I think if we can counsel even our maid servants only and help them in any problem, a lot of improvement can be had all round..they need counselling about hygiene, family planning, educating children, and nutrition and savings. They can open an account in post office, and put little money every month. Saving is not something to be done when you earn well..its a habit, whatever we earn, we must put aside something and yes insurance they certainly need...
We must talk to them and make them feel comfortable so that they can share their problems with us,

I read in the paper that in a village near Coimbatore (oditthurai) villagers themselves have brought many changes and generated sufficient energy from the wind mill..we need this type of efforts everywhere, in a country abundant in sun light we hardly utilise that.

And we must encourage all our Indian handicrafts and handlooms. I always try to buy from local grocery store than big ones, and vegetables also from local ones..this way we can help them in prospering instead of filling the coiffures of big bussiness houses.We must encourage everything manufactured locally if we find it of good quality, we must not fall victim to packaging and
advertising.

Lastly i would like to tell everyone in Chennai that an exhibition of handlooms is going on in Valluvar kottam..and its really good to see, and things are worth buying..I bought jute slip ons, a few earrings, dress material and table mats and cups etc...everything was so beautiful and pocket friendly.

AAMRAS

AAMRAS..is a low budget simple movie types I like..its about three teenage girls and their travails.The treatment is very natural and so is the acting by three girls..they all come from different backgrounds, but are very close to each other.Though at some places story gets filmy like Land mafia threatening a girl's mother , then other friend helping and all that,and love affair..but over all its a good and interesting movie..all three girls are fantastic in their roles..there are not any big stars, but thats what makes it worth a watch...one sees the characters...its fun to watch young girls idea of fun and their innocence.

AJAB PREM KI GAHJAB KAHANI..Heard a lot about this movie..what is it with our filmmamkers that now we are having many movies where the protagonist our hero..is good for nothing..neither educated, nor hard working( wake up sid)..sometimes even a cheat( bachna a haseeno).. here also the hero is a president of Happy club, making members by fooling around,and then falls in love with a girl who is in love with a rich boy whose parents are typical politicians....story is quite old and it looks like that its a mix of many movies..but the acting of Ranbeer and Katrina give it a fresh look and save it.I liked 2 songs also.But I think Raj kumar santoshi is still stuck in 80's and 90's, hope he comes out of it in his next..few one liners are good.

All the BEST..This is again he rehash of all these Golmaals and Shaadi no 1 etc..Idea is so repeated that lost all the appeal..again the heroes are liers, cheat and useless fellows.I liked Sanjay Mishra and his..Just Chill..Johny Liver bores me now and so is the hamming of Fardeen. I like Ajay Devan as suave, well dressed, because his looks are of a rufian and if dressed like that, he is so natural:)..Bipasha looks good and so does Sanjay Dutt.I dont like movies starting with a song and that too boring ones..no good music here, and all the old and repeated gags...not worth watch.

Do Knot Disturb:..what is with our directors..our heroes are all loosing their sheen..earlier they were paragons of virtue today they have loads of vices....I prefer simple stories with real lives and their problems.....This is the story of a husband who is cheating his rich wife or should I say two timing both his girl friend and wife...but yes girl friend is also looking for money, as she knows he is married.with his wife's money he arranges everything to cheat his wife..how low a man can get, and all this for comedy..couldnt laugh..earlier i liked Sushmita, but now I see that she is Sushmita everywhere, no other character, same style of speaking and here its all very artificial..again for the sake of comedy..Reitesh is the only saving grace and a little Rajapal Yadav..Lara is Ok, Govinda is worth watching only for his dances.

KHoya Khoya Chand:..It is a Sudhir Mishra's movie, so i had lot of curiosity..but here I didnt like his lighting style.just like RGV's ..everywhere dark..its a film heroine's life...but nothing touches you, neither her loss, nor her happiness. Soha couldnt make her role come alive. Shiny Ahuja is good in parts, but all the characters are mere caricatures, o depth in them and nothing new..sometimes in the zest of showing reality they show things which are illogical or inconsequential.I love to watch stories based on film industry..like Luck BY Chance, but here it looks a vintage movie, as I dont know how initially Soha is like 60's heroine and later on 80's but she nevr ages in looks..one song is good..oh re pakhi..and some dailogues come out very well specially from Shiney and his style of speaking Lucknnawi..with HUm is endearing.

TASHAN: forgot to write that i saw this one also..time pass movie but two songs are good, plus one can watch becaus eof good actors..though whenevr Anil Kapoor comes on screen..I feel like asking him to shut up..he really irritated with his Hinglish.

The Chinese Lucky Tag

I am tagged by Anupama of sincerely yours( her blog is like a lyric..poem, written in prose) for this tag........Anu ..I am trying to do the best to do this tag...


8 TV shows/News Channels I like to watch

i dont like to watch many TV shows but still I will give the names of all the shows I have liked so far...

1. Sarabhai vs. sarbhai

2.Ghar jamai

3.Baalika Badhu

4.comedy circus

5.koffee with Karan

6.Dekh Bhai dekh

7.Left Right Left

8.Buniyaad

8 Places to eat and dine

1.Tadka (Hyderabad)

2.Influence (Chennai)

3.Chutneys[Hyderabad]

4.Rain tree (eco hotel in chennai)

5.Cafe Tapas velachery chennai

6.country club Goa

7.Haldiram Nagpur

8.Saravana Bhavan[Chennai]

8Things I Look Forward To

This is very difficult for me as I dont look forward to anything much..so let us see:)

1.visiting my mother...she has been unwell and I havent seen her so that is the first thing on my mind now.

2.a vacation to a hill station with my husband,

3.waiting to meet my siblings to chitchat:)

4..to be able to join some NGO

5.to write something which brings happiness to someone

6.To live in peace with out any conflict with anyone.

7.to be able to live my life with dignity without having to demand or ask anything from anyone, just doing for others...no taking

8..to see happiness and peace everywhere.be it family friends or country.

8 Things That Happened Yesterday

1.my sister in law went and I was feeling lonely.

2.placed an order for Two states By Chetan Bhagat

3.Talked to my sis as usual:)

4.my son called me.

5.

6.

7.

8.the new post was published

8 Things I love about Winter

1.I love sitting in rajai and sipping tea

2.No sweating and I love cooking

3.Sitting out, eating peanuts and knitting.

4.I love eating dry fruits and gajar halwa

5.Wearing silk sarees.

6. Love those misty mornings, sitting outside in the balcony of a hotel in hill station.. and watching nature.

7.Love going to the nature parks and zoo etc and thats possible in winter only, summer exhausts me completely.

8.

8 Things on my Wish-list

1.peace in life

2.to go on vacations

3.to do the right things and live a righteous life

4.to cheer up and inspire the ones who have lost hope

5.to lead a peaceful and healthy life in a place where all the responsibilities are taken by someone else and I can do what i want all the time.

6.to be useful to everyone

7.to have a small cottage in a hill station with fruit trees in front and vegetables grown in the back(I am not very fond of growing flowers..more a utility person).and live there frugally, near nature without opulence.

8. want to join some organisation where I can do something for others.

8 Things I am Passionate about

1.My family

2.My values

3.My thoughts and principles

4.good people

5.spiritual teachings

6.sincerity in life..for everything

7.reading inspirational posts, articles

8.taking care of environment..no plastic, less water and electricity, less paper

8 Words/Phrases I often use

1.I was thinking

2.rightly said

3.I heard

4.Actually

5.wow

6.By the way

7.beautiful

8.wah

8 Things I learnt from the past

1.Never marry in haste..marriage is one decision which must be taken with lot of thought and research as it impacts two families.Education is more important than marriage.

2.everyone must get due importance....inlaws are equally or sometimes more important.

3.maintain some discipline in the home, it makes the family cohesive.

4.Before doing anything always see ..it must not hurt anybody, any happiness you get by hurting somebody is not worth it..

5.we may not win the battles by our being nice and righteous, but we certainly make ourselves feel better by being so.

6.Don't spoil the present by worrying about future, or thinking about past

7.Life is not fair but good..God always balances everything..so do what is right( I dont believe in choices in everything) and leave the rest to god.

8.Prayers work miracles.and faith in God and his justice and goodness in life..solves all our problem..be kind to everybody...be it human , animal or environment.

8 P laces I would like to go /Visit

1.Guruvayoor/

2.Vaishno devi along with..chitpoorni, jwalaji and kashmir

3.Chidambaram(for naadi shastra) and Thanjavur

4.Jaageshwar

5.Dharmashaala, chail, kufri

6.Ooty once again

7.Goa once again

8.Singapore, Bangkok

8 Things I currently need/want.....

Now my wants are not much and needs are also fulfilled always, so cant think of anything much but still I am writing......

1.a cup of tea..that I always need

2.my book I ordered

3.A few cosmetics and chappal

4.to see 3 Idiots

5.want to go to my hometown

6.new magazines.

7.want to buy a few books

8.

8 Blogging Buddies I want to Tag

1 Varsha shrote

2.Noopur

3.Holy Lama

4.Neha

6.Rohitha

7.Nipun

8.Insignia


There are many points still blank , I cant think of anything, may be I will fill them up later on.

Face of a woman

Prema was born in in 1930's in a well to do family, but as her luck would have it, she was married to a teacher of a poor family and that too a principled teacher who wouldnt take tuition or any money from the students he helped, rather helped a few with fee also and in those days teachers never got any good salary. So she led a very tough life . She had to really work hard to make ends meet, as she had 2 daughters and two sons.In those days nobody planned the family according to affordability.Her life was a chapter in deprivation.and she was quite bitter with her husband. By the grace of god and with the help of relatives, she got both the daughters married and his sons were also very bright. When the elder one became a professional and got a job, she wanted him to marry for dowry. But his father would have none of it, he wanted an intelligent girl from a cultured family for his son.And he got one and got dowry also and from here her life took a turn......
There are two types of persons in this world, one..who never want to take their past to future and want to bring goodness and be nice to everyone.
Second types believe in getting even..of course they do it subconsciously , without even realising.Any one would think that a women who has borne so much, would be so nicer to her DIL and here she was considered a silent women by all..but she was silent , not out of choice but compulsion.She behaved abominably with her DIl, would be as rude and uncaring as possible.All her mother's heart was reserved for her daughters and younger son.If she had her way, she wouldnt even give food to her.
Unfortunately her husband died and she had to live with her elder son only, still she never changed, he did everything but got neither any appreciation,always criticism, nor his wife got any love from her. and the time passed and her beloved younger son also got married and migrated abroad leaving her behind with the elder one.
Still she always thought of her younger DIL and son, about what she could do for them.As long as she was physically fit, all her daughters called her and wanted her with them,but there came a time when she became a responsibility and then none wanted her, as keeping her meant certain restrictions in life style, extra work and extra expenses. Now she lives with her elder son and his wife looks after her, the same who was maltreated by her, still not loved though. and till today she doesnt realise who loves her and who doesnt..she is still in the same mind of that her daughters are very good and loving etc etc....DILs are bad........

When I see people like her I wonder...

Was her husband right in sticking to his principles ? Was it not his duty to provide for his wife and children? People glorify the man for his thoughts but forget the suffering he brings to his family..his wife and children.

Why couldnt she manage her family well, as many people earn less, but that doesnt mean they depend on others or live in misery, even today I see many people managing their lives well with meagre salaries..its all about management.


Why some people have to bear all the responsibilities in life and get no acknowledgement? For them their family is like a cross they bear.

How hurting it must be for a man to know that his family is so selfcentred or to have a mother who is least bothered about his happiness?

How could a mother be partial?

When I see mothers being adulated like angels, where will you put a mother like her?

What makes a woman so uncaring towards other 's daughters?

About the mindset of that elder son's wife also..how she can take it? or why?

But I know that if she refuses to live with her, she will be the talk of the town as society always sympathises with old people without thinking that when it was their time to do something they didnt and today they are reaping what they sowed.......
I so much long to have a fair society where none blames the other without knowing the facts, neither all DILs are bad, nor all old people deserve sympathy....what do you say?

I liked this post.....http://perfectlifespotters.blogspot.com/2010/01/peep-show-why-i-switched-to.html

AWARDS AND MY BLOG

I received a few awards from Lostworld, NU, Reflections etc, and i felt very honoured.and thank you all who thought me worthy of that. Its good to be acknowledged, they encourage me to do better.But the way a mother cant differentiate in her children, I cant do the same for my readers. To me all who read are important and good and I wouldnt like to differentiate.If I go to any blog, then its only because I like them, the day i dont like , I stop going there. and the same way, many people give you awards and then dont even come to your blog, I wouldnt like that happen to me here. To me the comments are an awad in itself...and if they keep coming everyday..they give me oxygen to breathe.

Basically the purpose of my blogging is that my views may be read by many and may be they can make a positive difference to someone in this world..I want to share all the good and bad happening to me, because everything in life teaches us something. Though it will benefit more if I make efforts in increasing my readership, but then I am not made like that.It doesnt come to me easily.I want to extend a hand to everybody who would like it.

I believe that we must love people and use things.. so every month, every year, I dont think about what all I am going to acquire, but whether I am going to touch any life in a positive way, whether I will be able to bring a smile to anyone..how can we bring more harmony in our family etc.For last two months my servant is coming very erratically, 15 days a month, as her child is sick, but then she wont forsake all her other obligations also like today is some housewarming for my mother etc etc.But still i feel that this is the time she needs support, neither I must sack her, nor cut her pay, rather give her something extra. But I am also human and sometimes I get annoyed, so I have asked my hubby to make me cool down that time:)..My MIL always keeps cribbing about her, but I always say think what she must be going thru, we cant even imagine her plight as we have been amply blessed by God.Sometimes these people take advantage of our goodness, but then its ok, my mantra is never to exploit anybody, being exploited is fine..at least god has put me in a privileged position of being exploited:)

Presently I am reading A place Called Freedom ..By Ken Follet..its about old times in Scotland and coal mines, their situation, greed of owners, pathetic situation of workers their hard life, working without any safety standards, being slaves, all this resembles so much with what we have today in India and it shows that only development changes the world.